


Haven't Had Enough

by Julby



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-05-13 03:26:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14741153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julby/pseuds/Julby
Summary: Severa hated goodbyes. Goodbyes are final, resolute. They leave no room for reunions, and no hope for the future. Nobody who she had ever said goodbye to had lived to say hello again. When she said goodbye to her mother, she died. When she said goodbye to her father, he disappeared. Severa refused to ever say goodbyes again, and she'd stuck to that for many years.That is, until now.





	1. Never Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> My first real fanfiction! I've had this scenario in my head for years now, and I'm glad I finally did something with it. I'll add characters as they're relevant. Hope you enjoy!

Severa hated goodbyes. Goodbyes are final, resolute. They leave no room for reunions, and no hope for the future. Nobody who she had ever said goodbye to had lived to say hello again. When she said goodbye to her mother, she died. When she said goodbye to her father, he disappeared. Severa refused to ever say goodbyes again, and she'd stuck to that for many years.

That is, until now.

Anxiety continued to build in her chest as she waited, leaning against a tree looking over the grassy hillside. This was the night that they’d leave, and her pack was ready and hidden nearby. Owain and Inigo had already said their veiled goodbyes, leaving only her own to go before they departed. She initially hadn’t planned on bothering at all, but as she thought about it, she’d realized there was one person she would regret not seeing one final time, and she wasn’t about to leave with any regrets. Regrets meant ties, and ties meant she wouldn’t be able to move forward.

The person she’d miss the most, the person she couldn’t bear leaving without a word, was Lucina. She’d had a crush on her since childhood, not that she’d ever breathe a word of it aloud. As they’d grown and fought together, they’d become fairly close friends, and disregarding the crush, Severa really valued her support and friendship. To leave without seeing her dumb face one last time would be...annoying.

Hearing the sound of approaching footsteps, Severa looked up to see Lucina approaching, and gave her a small wave of greeting. Lucina, smiling, returned the wave, and fell into step beside her as they made their way to a nice spot in the grass. It might’ve been completely lame, but Severa wanted to see the sunset in Ylisse one last time as well. Seeing it with Lucina would make the moment extra special, and create a memory she’d cherish forever. At least, she hoped it would.

As they settled on the ground side by side, Lucina let out a wistful sigh. “I’m glad to spend some time appreciating the true beauty of this peace we’ve achieved.” She said, “I’ve been so busy with reparations that I’ve barely had the time to do so. This was an excellent idea, Severa.”

Severa huffed lightly, but took note of the praise. “You always overextend yourself. Everyone needs a break, you know. Royalty included.”

Lucina laughed, “Yes, that’s true. Thank you for always looking out for me, I appreciate it.”

“Well obviously…” Severa mumbled, feeling flustered and guilty. “You’re welcome.” She added, after a beat. They fell into silence, simply enjoying each other’s company while waiting for the sun to set. Severa took this chance to contemplate what she should say next, and different scenarios that could occur.  
It wasn’t long before the sun had fully set, painting the sky with hues of purple, pink, orange and yellow. Severa took a breath, and did her best to commit every detail to memory so no matter where she went, she’d never forget the skies of home.

“Wow…” Lucina murmured, “It really is beautiful, isn’t it?”

Severa glanced her way, and felt a bittersweet pang in her heart as she saw just how radiant Lucina looked bathed in the light of a sunset. This was another sight she’d be sure to commit to memory. “It really is.” She agreed, looking at Lucina as she said it.  
For a moment there was silence between them as they appreciated the scenery, but Severa knew she had to get to the point eventually. Trying to keep her voice sounding nonchalant, she asked, “So, Luci...what do you think you’ll do now?”

Lucina gave her a confused look, responding with, “Well, I believe after this dinner will be served?”

While usually she might roll her eyes, or make a quip about how dense Lucina could be, at this Severa just sighed, “No, I mean the future. Like...is there something you want to do?”

“Oh, I see.” She took a moment to think it over, “I want to continue to be with my family, and support Ylisse, I think. I might not be the heir to the throne in this time, but I’m sure there are plenty of other ways I can serve Ylisse.”

“You don’t feel weird being around Little Luci?” Severa wondered, referring of course to the Lucina of this time. She could appreciate the ideal of wanting to stay with family, given that the parents of their time were gone, but at least for her, she felt as though there was no place for her there. With a little Severa already existing in this time, she essentially felt replaced by, well, herself. 

“I see what you mean, but I think I’d be willing to work around that. Perhaps I could take on another identity, as I did before? Change my name and appearance?”

Severa gave her a small, bittersweet smile. She’d been hoping to probe how attached to Ylisse she was, hoping that maybe, just maybe, she might be willing to leave with her and the guys. However, given how she was talking of her future, she could essentially rule that out. “Maybe, yeah.” She agreed, mostly out of support.

“What about you?” Lucina asked, leaning back on the heels of her hands.

Severa already knew hers. She was leaving. When peace had finally been achieved, she’d expected to feel it as well, but she’s felt far from ‘at peace’ since the conflicts had ended. Her whole life had been spent in a time of war, and now that she was experiencing peace, it felt threatening. Like the calm before the storm, it felt too quiet, too hopeful, too...good. It kept her constantly on edge, even though there was no longer any need to be.  
With the coming of peace, combat skills had less use in society. The sword was all she’s ever known, and now that her skill with the sword wasn’t needed, she felt more and more useless with each passing day. Owain and Inigo had felt the same, and made a plan to leave Ylisse to travel the world, perhaps as mercenaries. When she’d overheard them discussing it, she’d of course badgered them into letting her join them. It was the perfect opportunity to figure out her purpose and feel part of something again.

Aloud, however, she only said, “I’m not sure yet.”, and avoided Lucina’s gaze by looking at the skies. The trio had promised to keep their departure quiet, and leave without anyone knowing. Severa had suggested it, of course. 

“There’s a lot of possibilities.” Lucina stated, getting up from her spot on the ground and stretching. “I know you’ll find your answer, there’s plenty of time to think on it, after all.” Severa merely hummed in response, staying seated. “It should be about time for dinner to start,” Lucina continued, “Would you like to come with me?”

“I think I’m gonna stay here for a bit longer.” Severa answered, “Just to, you know, think some more.” 

“Alright, I understand.” She said softly, “Maybe I’ll see you there later?”

“Yeah, sure.” Severa lied, feeling guilt seize up her chest.

“Great, I’ll see you then.” Lucina put a hand on her shoulder and gave a supportive smile, before beginning to walk away. 

“Goodbye, Lucina…” Severa murmured, her voice small and soft enough that she doubted Lucina even heard her. She was okay with that. As long as she said it, it didn’t matter if she’d heard it. It wasn’t her that was leaving for good, after all.

After Lucina had gone, Severa stood, grabbed her pack, and made her way to where she would meet Owain and Inigo.


	2. Moving Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucina's reaction to Severa leaving, and her struggle to find direction afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, take this. I keep meaning to go back and edit but it's been over a week and I haven't so if I don't just post it now it'll be sitting here for another month.

It'd been a month since Severa had disappeared, along with Owain and Inigo. Initially there'd been a bit of a panic, but due to the evidence showing they left of their own volition, no search parties were sent out. It'd affected everyone, but despite their sadness, they had continued on.

Everyone except for Lucina, that is.

Missing Severa was like a constant ache in her chest, ever present in the back of her mind. Frequently, Lucina found herself replaying her last moments with her over and over in her head, and the hurt would come back to the forefront like waves crashing into her again and again, threatening to drown her.

The question she always came to was why. Why did she leave Ylisse? Why didn't she say anything? Why did she leave her?

She'd lost herself in these questions time and time again, never able to answer them herself. It'd gotten so bad, in fact, that Robin had noticed something was amiss, and asked Lucina to meet for a ‘talk’ as she put it.

Now here she was, hesitating mid knock at the door to Robin's study, unsure if she just feels overwhelmed, or sheepish at the thought of her judgement. She'd done her absolute best to try to hide how she felt, to keep up a hopeful smile and cheery demeanor, but of course Robin saw right through her. Robin probably saw everything. How broken she was just because of one person, how alone she was even with her family all around her, how she couldn't even pick herself up and start to move forward. The thought of exposing just how messed up she was to her and putting it into actual words was enough for anxiety to bubble up in her chest. 

Just before she could make up her mind to turn around and leave, however, the door opened, and both she and Robin started at each others' unexpected presence. "Oh, Lucina!" Robin recovered smoothly, gesturing towards a chair in her study, "Please, sit, I was just about to get some tea. Would you like any?"

“O-Oh, no, thank you.” Lucina declined, trying to come off equally smooth. Her attempt had clearly failed, however, as her anxiety made itself clear in her wavering voice. As she took a seat, she quietly cleared her throat, and took a deep breath to calm herself. A silence fell between them, leaving the clink of the tea set to be the only sound in the room. Lucina shifted uncomfortably, finding it rather difficult to keep still in the moment. Both of them remained silent, allowing the soft clink of Robin’s tea cup and the pouring of the warm drink to fill the room instead. As Robin moved to sit across from Lucina, she gave her a once over, her face a mixture of intrigue and concern.

“So, Lucina…” Robin began, pausing to take a sip of her tea. “I’ll get right to the point, I’ve noticed you seem to be having a rough time as of late. While I’m sure you may feel uncomfortable putting focus on it, I do believe it is necessary at this point.” She looked down at her tea, cradling the cup a little firmer to draw more of its warmth, “I want you to know you can talk to me about anything, okay?”

“Ah…” Lucina looked away, unsure exactly what she should say. “I do seem to have been...struggling, as you say. I apologize if it has been impacting my daily duties.”

“Oh, no, don’t worry about that.” Robin waved it off immediately, both with words and a wave of her hand. “I didn’t call you here to talk about performance, I simply worry for you is all.” She tilted her head, looking Lucina over once again. “I have an inkling as to what caused this change in you, but I’d like to know, what do you think it is?”

“I…” Lucina swallowed, “I think the rather...sudden...departure of Severa, Owain, and Inigo may have shifted my view of certain things. I feel...a lot less sure of myself than I used to.”

“What kind of things do you feel unsure about?”

Lucina frowned as she sifted through all her recent musings in her head. “I feel rather...displaced, if that makes sense. As though the role I believed I had and never questioned is no longer quite as satisfying. 

“Hmm, I see.” Robin took another sip of her tea, “What about their absence is causing you to feel that way, I wonder?”

Lucina thought for a moment. “Severa...she said something to me the night they presumably left. She asked what my plans for the future were, and if I may feel weird around my younger self by keeping a presence here. Now that she’s gone, I fear I only now fully grasp what she meant by that. We future children...we don’t belong here, not really. I’d been trying to ignore it, hoping I could regain the life I could have had, but...that’s gone.” She cleared her throat before continuing, “Perhaps she was all too aware of this already...I can’t say she made the wrong choice, if so.”

“It is a rather...unique situation you kids from the future past have been put into.” Robin agreed, “You said you can’t say she made the wrong decision. That’s an interesting choice of words. Do you still feel that you disagree with her choice regardless?”

“I...do.” Lucina frowned, “While I can support her wishing to flee this displaced feeling...I cannot condone how she left us. She left without a word...not even to me.”

“Hmm, you and Severa were rather close, weren’t you? I’d say her departure in particular has bothered you more than the others.” Robin set down her cup and crossed her legs. “Do you feel anything would change if you were able to see her again?”

“Maybe…” Lucina pursed her lips in thought, “Maybe finding her, seeing her again, could help lead me to finding my purpose and sense of belonging...If she left in search of that, then maybe she could be the path to finding mine as well.”

“Perhaps so.” Robin smiled, “And I’m sure the allure of her company is also a strong motivator for such an adventure.”

“Allure?” Lucina tilted her head, “I do rather miss her, but I’m not sure allure is the correct word…”

Robin gave a small laugh, “Perhaps another thing to think on in addition to your future, would be the depth of importance Severa has to you, hm?”

“I’m...not sure I fully understand, but I will do my best?” 

Robin stood and walked to her desk, beginning to shuffle around the various papers strewn about it. “If you’re serious about tracking her down, I can give you a general direction to begin your search.” She pulled up a paper buried under a large pile and quickly read it over. “Ah yes, here. This document details my general findings regarding their sudden departure. It isn’t much, but it’s enough to start.” 

She handed Lucina the paper, and she took it graciously. “Thank you so much...I’ll be sure to say proper goodbyes to everyone before I head out.” She gave Robin a smile and stood, beginning to walk to the exit. As she reached it, she paused and turned back once more, “Again, thank you so much, Robin. Talking to you gave me a better idea of how to move forward.”

“Anytime, dear.” Robin replied, returning her smile and giving a small wave of farewell.

Lucina scanned the document as she walked down the halls of the castle, hastily committing as much as she could to memory. She’d finally found a direction, and while she had no idea what was waiting at the end, she was finally going to move forward.


End file.
